ext_63321 ([identity profile] lovedoesthat.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] soundczech 2008-05-22 04:03 pm (UTC)

this was nicely written and you used quotation marks correctly, just one typo i found:

Akio is 7 years old, face gawky and beautiful like his father. He’s inherited the Kamenashi eyebrows, thick blocks of fuzz that wrinkle and crawl like caterpillars when he frowns.

sounds like you accidentally included the work beautiful.


b+/a-

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